Two weeks ago, my best friend, Oliver, passed onto the other side. Oliver was not just my best friend, he was the son I will never have, my baby, the very best of the best. For 10 years, he saw me through some of my biggest trials and tribulations- always with his unconditional love, unwavering loyalty and never passing judgement. Sadly, these qualities are lacking in many of us humans.
Oliver had cancer. We were trying to fight it. But in the last two days before he passed, he took a turn for the worse. I didn’t want to do what I did, but I had no choice;my baby was in pain and his quality of life had gotten worse. I know it was the right thing to do, but it did not make it any easier.
I am devastated and I have buried myself in work. The veterinarian said this was the most selfless act I will ever do, putting Oliver’s needs above my own. When I returned to my empty apartment that day, I did feel a sense of relief. Oliver was not suffering. After that moment of relief, the grief, sorrow, and crying returned. I have occupied my time with printing off pictures of Oliver, blowing them up, framing them, and even making collages. My new hobby is a labor of love to my friend.
Everyone tells me this will take time to heal and I have dealt with death before. My brother was killed when I was 16, and my father passed about 10 years ago due to complications from Alzheimer’s. I have cried more for Oliver than my own father. I have asked myself, why is that? I believe it is because Oliver gave me that unconditional love and never passed judgement. Sadly, my father was incapable of that.
Amidst this tragedy, there have been a few rays of light. A few days after Oliver left, My mom told me she was taking a friend to the hospital for an appointment at the time Oliver was crossing over. When she got off the elevator and started to walk down the hallway, she stopped in her tracks and stared at the poster on the wall. It was of a dog, holding its paw up and read “I AM OK.” Mom immediately started crying. This was a sign from Oliver, she said. He was telling her he was OK.